Name: Abigail

Age: 5

Gender: Female

Physical Description: Gawky with teeth falling out and Kool-Aid moustache

Medical History: Repeated ear infections, but no reason to believe these will continue.

Strengths: Master Holly-Hobby oven chef (emphasis on Blueberry™)

Weaknesses: Poor at going to bed, poorer still at making the bed in the morning.

Agency Comments: Child seemed perfectly amiable, though parents seemed unusually high-strung. Mother exhibited drug addict personality traits, may require future supervision. This service available for a limited time at only $999.00 per month. Discounts of up to 15% available for long term contracts (12-24 months) for a limited time only, please inquire!

Desired Trade: We really want a boy, and we’ll consider one of any age (2 to 7) if he’s healthy and smart. We’ll require genetic testing and aptitude results (third party, not your own). Please submit any serious requests directly.